


Next Thing I Know Is I’m Being... Bitten

by ionlycomehereforthegay



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Annoyed Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Embarrassment, Humor, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy Friendship, Love Bites, M/M, Oblivious James T. Kirk, Secret Relationship, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28960761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlycomehereforthegay/pseuds/ionlycomehereforthegay
Summary: The chief medical officer of the starship Enterprise has a secret, known to everyone but his friend. He’s in a relationship, and actively participates in romantic activities with this person. When your friend is rumoured to be a player, and a heartbreaker, one usually assumes they know what romantic activities consist of. The captain of the Enterprise does not. Hilarity for fellow crew members ensues.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Montgomery "Scotty" Scott
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Next Thing I Know Is I’m Being... Bitten

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t think too hard on the illogicalities that lie ahead, as I reread this I wanted to fix them but couldn’t fit it in without messing up the point thing I was trying to get across in that particular part. 
> 
> Sorry in advance!

A sigh escaping his lips, Bones stepped out of the turbo lift. He had been called down to the bridge to discuss something or other with the captain, probably about arranging a medic to go down to the planet they were to explore with the crew. Bones hadn’t been paying attention, being preoccupied with something.

Stepping out with his head held high, or, more accurately, hunched over to hide his neck, which was dotted in purple and pink marks, Bones headed over to the captain. 

Kirk was focused on the screen in front of him as he acknowledged Bones’ presence. Everyone was busy with something, preparing for the exploration of the planet. The solar system was new to the Federation, and the Enterprise was the first ship given access to one of the many uninhabited planets in centuries. It was exciting, if a bit daunting, as many things could go wrong. This being the Enterprise, they usually did, hence Kirk’s business face.

“Doctor McCoy, I’m going to need you to head down onto the planet with myself, Mister Spock and a security team.”, the captain stated, waving a bit with his right hand as his left swiped at the padd in his lap, containing old files about the planet. “We never know what’s out there, and you’re the best medic on the ship, should anything happen, you’d be the best to handle it.”, Bones would’ve appreciated the praise, had he been paying attention.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to know, on the contrary, he was as anxious as everyone else, but he was very distracted with the fact that he looked like someone had been sucking his neck, which they had, and that someone would see. Bones just wanted to get to the medbay and find that darned paste that got rid of bruises. It would be a shame, because he liked having them, he just didn’t want to answer any questions that came with them. 

Jim, for one, would freak. He’d nag, and pester, and stalk, and creep on Bones until he found out who gave him the hickeys. It would be torture, because Bones would not say a word to him. He was good at keeping secrets. 

“Doctor, are you even listening to me? I have given you a list of chemicals that are present in the atmosphere, and I would like you to check for any possible airborne diseases.”, Kirk asked Bones, who was not listening to him, to answer his question.

“Pardon me, Jim, I apologise.”, he said. “I suppose I’m as anxious as everyone else here, forgive me if I space out a bit.”

“Yes, I suppose the crew is a bit on edge, and with good reason. We’ve no reliable information on it besides these files here, which haven’t been updated in centuries.”, Kirk held up the files for Bones to see, looking at the picture of the planet on the viewing screen. “They say that there’s a luscious jungle and a voluminous sea, and all I see on the planet’s surface is a pond and some twigs.”

Looking at the list of chemicals the captain had given him, Bones only had to skim to see that the air was safe enough for a group of humans, and most other races, to breathe. 

“So, you go back to the medbay and prepare a kit consisting of whatever materials you deem necessary based off of that list, and I’ll comm you when it’s time to beam down, Doctor.”, Kirk still hadn’t turned around, and Bones almost tripped on his own feet as he walked at a pace that was appropriate, but faster than usual, to the lift.

“Oh, and one more thing, Bones,”, Kirk looked over his shoulder as Bones froze in place. Having been in a rush to exit the bridge, he’d raised his head. “We should be there until-“, Kirk, too, froze. 

There, on his friend’s neck, clear as day, were angry bruises. Kirk’s brain instantly thought of injury, turning his facial expression into one of concern.

“Good heavens! What on earth is that on your neck, Bones?”, Kirk practically shouted. It was loud enough to draw eyes up and away from their stations, and Bones internally sighed. For such an apparent playboy, he was not knowledgeable on such subjects.

Bones turned back around, contemplating the angle he should approach the inevitable ‘they’re hickeys, Jim’. Maybe he could just feign obliviousness.

“What are you talking about, captain?”, Bones asked. Obliviousness it was, then.

“That smattering of spots on your neck, what are they, are you okay?”, Kirk, bless him, was a complete idiot. 

The eyes they had drawn belonged to Sulu, Uhura and Spock, who had made the connection, unlike their captain, within moments of looking at Bones. Stifled laughter came from Sulu as Kirk’s questioning persisted. 

“I’m not sure I know what you mean, captain.”, Bones tried. Even Spock had a poorly concealed almost smile on his stupid face. 

“Here, someone get this man a mirror,”, Kirk said, using his captain voice. Sulu produced one from somewhere, snickering out of Kirk’s earshot, but within Bones’. He could die of embarrassment. 

The only person who seemed to not care was Scotty, which was quite incorrect, what with him being the person who’d given him the marks.

Bones looked in the mirror, at marks he’d already known were there. “Huh.”, was all he could make out. “Oh, yes, it’s coming back to me,”, he tried, ignoring the snort he earned from Uhura. “I, uh, there was a patient, he’d fallen over and hit his head, was slipping in and out of consciousness, and when he finally woke up it was to me standing over him checking his vitals. Guess he got spooked, ‘cause the next thing I know is I’m being...”, the story seemed believable enough, Bones thought. “... bitten.” Sulu could barely contain his laughter, but he somehow held it in as Kirk stared Bones down.

“That’s unacceptable! Who was this crewman, I’ll see to it that he’s reprimanded for asaulting a superior officer.”, Kirk demanded. Uhura was shaking and Spock looked as stone-faced as ever. Chekov had looked up to see what the fuss was about, saw a hickey, and immediately zoned back out. Scotty was still silent, his ears red.

“I, er, didn’t catch his name, and I, I don’t remember what he looked like.”, Bones looked at his feet.

“The Captain is correct, Doctor. Assaulting another crewman, no matter the rank, is a court-martial offence.”, Spock added, his eyes alight with amusement. ‘Stupid hoboglobin, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’, Bones thought bitterly, ‘You’re all laughing at my expense’. He couldn’t blame them, as he’d be laughing at the captain and anyone in his shoes, too.

“Yeah, Doctor, we can’t just let this guy go free, what if he bites you again?”, Sulu chimed in.

“We’re just concerned for our friend, McCoy. If it was any one of us you’d be concerned, too.”, Uhura fibbed, because that was not true, he’d be laughing his ass off because the whole situation was ridiculous.

“So, why don’t we get you treated for those marks and jog your memory, Bones?”, Kirk said, his words softer than they needed to be, adopting his ‘coercing Bones to look after himself’ voice.

Bones was fighting a losing man’s battle. There was no way he’d be able to keep up this lie. He’d have to tell Jim what should have been obvious, adding more embarrassment onto an already embarrassing situation.

“Oh, for God’s sake!”, Scotty cried, turning around and getting out of his seat. “They’re love bites, skipper, Ah’ve given ‘im love bites!”, Bones’ eyes widened. 

Everyone was silent, eyes wide at Scotty’s relevation. Even Chekov had looked up.

“Er, Ah mean, aye, they’re love bites... because Ah’m Scottish, me accent...”, Scotty looked at the floor. 

The secret was out, and strangely, Bones didn’t feel like clawing his eyes out. He didn’t mind that people knew, it was actually Scotty who’d asked for them to be kept a secret. Bones hadn’t minded, he’d only considered them friends with benefits, but Scotty made him feel good, and by the time he realised he’d missed a step and accidentally fell for the engineer, it was too late. 

Taking a deep breath, he looked at Kirk, who was looking quite confused. Holding his head high, literally, Bones spoke up. “Yeah, there was no patient, Jim, it was him.”, he gestured to Scotty, who looked very red. “And while this conversation has been very fun and not at all ridiculous, I really must be going, so, goodbye.”, Bones walked over to Scotty, took his hand, and got into the turbolift. He couldn’t just leave him with their questioning, and he wanted to make sure Scotty was alright. “Medbay.”, he told the lift, and off they went.

With the bridge slowly coming out of shock, Uhura was the first to speak up. “I knew it!”, she laughed. “Oh, it was so obvious, those two couldn’t keep their eyes or their hands off each other, not if they had phasers to their heads.”, everyone looked at her incredulously. “There was also that time I caught them making out in engineering.”, she explained.

“Yeah, Scotty has been acting differently these last few months, smiling more and not being able to talk properly.”, Sulu added. “Glad I know why now, they’re good for each other.”, and yes, they were. Bones got more rest when he was with Scotty, whether it was from persuasion or exhaustion from other things. Scotty was a bit pent up with negative feelings, and Bones helped him express them.

Even Spock agreed that the pair was a beneficial, and, to most, an obvious one. Spock had suspected that the doctor was in a relationship when he noticed a slight limp in his walk once (and many times after), and had noticed Scotty’s good mood the same day, but hadn’t thought to connect them. 

“So you’re all telling me, that my friend, with whom I share quite a lot of information with, had been having a secret relationship with my own head of engineering, and had been doing so for some time?”, a murmur of ‘yeah’ and ‘pretty much’ and ‘yes, captain’ rippled through the bridge. “And how did I not notice, what with it being so obvious?”, Kirk asked, a little hurt at this new information.

“Captain, I believe you simply could not imagine your doctor in a relationship, and you could not believe what he had not told you, so even when you did see signs your conscience ignored them.”, Spock explained, tone almost even. He felt sympathy for his ashayam, having been made blind by his own self in regards to his friend, and was now feeling hurt about it.

“I see. Thank you, Mister Spock, everyone please return to your stations. The crew will be down on that planet until nightfall, so a few hours, and we need to make sure we’ve got everything working, should something come up.”, Kirk continued preparations for the mission, blocking out thoughts of his best friend having relationships unbeknownst to him. 

He’d unpack it later, perhaps another day.

**Author's Note:**

> Haw eggzackly doz wun eavin end an writing.?
> 
> But seriously, though, ending fics is hard, kudos to those who can do it, and do it well.


End file.
